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Trying this ONE more time. [Oct. 1st, 2005|10:55 pm]
[mood |blankeh.]
[music |Death - Misanthrope]

Kev's top 10 albums of all time.


These are all albums that changed how I looked at music one way or another, significantly.
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Hmm [Sep. 30th, 2005|07:10 pm]
[mood |discontentdiscontent]
[music |Death - Suicide Machine]

I'm taking my TV out of my room so I can sleep at night. I want to scrap the whole entertainment center with it, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen for a while. I figure as long as I have school to attend, a TV will not be included in my room. Getting a new bed this weekend to replace my grandma's old peice of crap that I was given.

I need to go to Saturday schools to fix what I have screwed up.

I'm trying to catch this ladie's attention, it doesn't look like it's working too well. It's a damn shame, I genuinely like this girl. It's ok though, I saw it coming.

I want to work out, so I'm going to go run around the track in a minute or two. I really want to lift, but my weights have been misplaced.
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Kill a hippy. [Sep. 27th, 2005|09:47 pm]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |Exodus - Deathamphetamine]

So today I had to listen to this fuckin' burn out bitch up a storm because he failed a test. He asked me my grade, I said a 93, he said "Whoa, how can he get a higher grade than me?"


He kept trying to argue with the teacher that the questions were worded wrong. This tells me two things: A. The guy is bitching because he read them wrong either by a strange accident or intentionall because he feels that he is smart enough to do that. B. The dumbass doesn't understand CRITICAL THINKING. KEY FUCKIN' WORD: THINKING! WHICH MEANS TO REMOVE YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR ASS, LAY OFF THE FUCKIN' GANJA, AND PAY ATTENTION, YA FUCKIN' TWAT!

To top it off, he used the word "cunt" too much. It's now ruined my love of that word.

Other than that, my day was tolerable. Got the new Exodus album which fuckin' kills!
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Update. [Sep. 27th, 2005|09:38 am]
[mood |gloomygloomy]
[music |Opeth - Ghost of Perdition]

Should be at school, I'll go soon enough, but I'm too busy working on this riff I wrote last night. IT'S A FRIGGIN' SWEEP! Matt said he would do it, so I beat him to it! NYAH! It's coming out awesome, I want Eric to have a bit of a drum solo at the beginning, that would make people shit out their moufs.

REALLY fuckin' psyched about the 7th, our debut at the Rabbit, and it's getting filmed! As long as all the monitors are working, we should be set to rock chode. If the crowd is nice, it will be all the sweeter.

Because of a choice I made, which I am beginning to regret, I now only have my friends and music to live for. No significant other for me, just good friends and good tunes. It wish I could have the other, but it ain't happening so I have to make do with what I have. Music gives me joy and gives me purpose, but it still doesn't fill that void.
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SHIT FUCKER! [Sep. 19th, 2005|06:06 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |God Forbid - Washed Out World]

I love saying that: Shit fucker! Thanks Lars.

So it's been some time, well didn't have much to talk about until now. Let's start with the more pleasent things.

Bolt Assembly is going stronger than ever. Shows are rolling in and the demo is almost done. The farther I get in Bolt Assembly, the more I lose interest in anything else. Nothing compares to it. School is one long brain fart, the only reason I go to work is because the pay. If it wasn't for the cash I would lose interest in work too. We played our first show a two weekends ago, that was a blast. I remember I was so ungodly nervous, I was constantly on the verge of puking. On the car ride downtown my hands were shaking and all I could think of was "Don't fuck up, don't fuck up." But once I stepped up on stage and did the soundcheck, it eased down a bit. About 20 seconds into "Battle Scars" was when I really opened the flood gates. I may not have my hair, but I done headbanged like a mofugga and a half. I'm looking forward to doing it again on Friday.

Working at El Wash Tub-o. The family business, yo. Long, hard, hot days. Can't wait until winter.

School is gay.

Single, doesn't surprise me. I'm aware that I will probably be single for another year or two. But lately I have been wondering whether I made the right choice in breaking it off with Iysha. In one hand, I loved her. Truly loved her. In the other hand, I had my dreams. The two would not be able to co-exist, I knew that much. I was going to have to sacrifice one of them. For a time, it was going to be my dream. But for reasons I seem to have forgotten, it was the other way around. I try not to dwell on the past, but it's been nagging at me. I'm really happy now that I'm pursuing my dream and making it a reality, but a part of me isn't happy with being alone. Even if I did make the wrong decision, it's way too late to take it back now, so all I am left with in this situation is to pick my head up and keep moving.

Still no drivers license, planning on buying a bike and getting my class M after getting my class C. Bikes are easier to maintain, more fuel-efficient, and overall much more fun. I looked at this 3-cylinder Triump Rocket III, and literally jizzed my pantaloons. 12,000 Euros.

Gaining weight back, horribly disappointed in myself for that. I was doing so well and I slipped. Fuck being the chubby kid.
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BOLT ASSEMBLY [Jul. 22nd, 2005|04:27 pm]
[music |Bolt Assembly - Dead Babies]


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(no subject) [Jun. 9th, 2005|09:40 pm]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |Strapping Young Lad - Far Beyond Metal]

1. Kissed your cousin: Fuck no.
2. Ran away: No.
3. Pictured your crush naked: Sure have.
4. Skipped school: More than I should.
5. Broken someone's heart: Not that I know of.
6. Been in love: Yeah, actually.
7. Cried when someone died: When my Grandpa and my dog died, I did.
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: Who hasn't?
9. Broken a bone: Nope, drink your milk, children.
10. Done something embarrassing: Of course.
11. Lied: Sadly.
12. Cried in school: No.

13. Coke or Pepsi: Neither.
14. Sprite or 7UP: Do I look black?
15. Girls or Guys: Depends the on the situation, if you just want to hang out and act like a fucktard, your buds, if you want to hang in general with someone you care for, your old lady.
16. Flowers or Candy: Candy.
17. Scruff or Clean shaved: Shaved.
18. Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes.
19. Bitchy or Slutty: Mom?
20. Tall or Short: Short, but it don't really matter.
21. Pants or Shorts: Pants, I have horrid tree stump legs, but it's too fuckin' hot to wear pants.
22. Night or Day: Night.

23. What do you notice first: They way they look at me.
24. Last Person You Slow Danced With: Haven't danced period since I was like 7.
25. Worst Question To Ask: "You gonna eat that?"

26. Showered: Today around 7p.m.
27. Stepped outside: When I got home from work.
28. Had Sex: None as of yet.

29. Romantic memory: Don't know if you call it romantic, but the closest thing I got is the first time me and the missus met.
30. Your Good Luck Charm: Me.
31. Person You Hate Most: Every motherfucker who wears that goddamned Tough Guys Wear Pink t-shirt.
32. Best Thing That Has Happened: My old lady, she makes me feel unbelievable.
33.On your desk: ......too much stuff.
34. Picture on your desktop: Dimebag tribute.

35. Color: Green and black.
36. Movie: Strange Brew.
37. Artist or band: Metallica overall, but as of now a tie bewteen the Allman Brothers Band and Strapping Young Lad.
38. Cars: Old trucks.
39. Ice Cream: Cookies and Cream.
41. Food: cereal!

42. Makes You Laugh The Most: Muff.
43. Makes You Smile: Iysha.
44. Can Make You Feel Better No Matter What: My buds & Iysha.
45. Has A Crush On You: I'm hoping the missus.
46. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: I've passed the crush stage and gone to full on fallen like a brick.
47. Who Has It Easier?: No one.
48. Gives You A Funny Feeling When You See Them: No one.

49. Sit By The Phone Waiting For A Phone Call All Night: Nope, I'm always the one calling.
50. Save AIM Conversations: Not AIM.
51. Save E-mails: Unless they were spam.
52. Forward Secret E-mails: no.
53. Wish You Were Someone Else: Never.
54. Wish You Were A Member Of The Opposite Sex: Nope.
55. Wear Cologne: No.
56. Kiss: Sure.
57. Cuddle: no one to cuddle with
58. Go Online For Longer Than Eight Hours At A Time: Nope.

59. Fallen For Your Best Friend?: No.
60. Made Out With JUST A Friend? No.
61. Kissed Two People In The Same Day?: No.
62. Had Sex With Two Different People In The Same Day?: No.
63. Been Rejected: Yeah.
64. Been In Love?: Yeah.
65. Been In Lust?: Course.
66. Used Someone?: No.
67. Been Used?: Yeah.
68. Dumped Someone?: No.
69. Been Cheated On?: No, I trust her enough.
70. Been Kissed?: Yeah.
71. Done Something You Regret?: I try not to.

72. You Touched?: I haven't touched...anybody today.
73. You Talked To?: Logan.
74. You Hugged?: I don't remember.
75. You Instant Messaged?: Pat.
76. You Kissed?: Iysha.
77. You Yelled At?: Probably my Dad.
78. You Thought About?: Iysha.
79. Who Text Messaged You?: Can't remember.
80. Who Broke Your Heart? Fuck if I remember.
81. Who Told You They Loved You?: I...do...not know.

82. Color Your Hair? No.
83. have tatoos?: Not yet.
84. Have Piercings?: No.
85. Have A boyfriend/girlfriend?: Yeah.
86. Own A Webcam?: No.
87. Own A Thong?: No.
88. Ever Get Off The Damn Computer? Alot, I work.
89. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?: Nein.
90. Habla espanol?: Que?
91. Quack?: AFLACK!

92. Stolen Anything?: Not in a long time.
93. Smoke?: Fuck no.
94. Schizophrenic?: No.
95. Obsessive?: Sometimes.
96. Compulsive?: Not really.
97. Obsessive compulsive?: No.
98. Panic?: No.
99. Anxiety?: Yeah.
100. Depressed?: Not in a long time, than you.

Been kissed in the pouring rain: No.
Gotten kicked out of somewhere [mall, movie theater,etc.]: Not yet, but soon I suspect.
Been cussed out: Sure.
Had ur heart broken: Not yet.
Really been in love: I'm not quite sure yet.
cheated on your bf/gf: Never.
fallen desperatley for someone: Yeah.

spastic? No.
an insane lover? Possibly.
beuatiful? Nah.
Smart? I do ok.
Dumb? No, I'm stupid, but I ain't fuckin dumb.
head over heels for someone? Yeah.
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Damn. [May. 26th, 2005|10:42 pm]
[mood |disappointeddisappointed]
[music |Opeth - The Drapery Falls]

I just found out that thise dude named Bowser got the guitar player slot in Dissonance. All the more power to him and best of luck to him, but I can't but feel disappointed. I really thought that if I had time to jam with Rob I would have gotten a try out. Oh well, not like I am good enough anyhow....
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Hmm. [May. 25th, 2005|05:09 pm]
[mood |angryangry]
[music |Cannibal Corpse - Beyond The Cemetary]

I've found that lately I am easily pissed of, it takes very little to make me snap now. And when I get pissed off, I feel violent. It always feels as if I am on the verge of going completely psychotic on someone. This is completely new to me. I can't relax, I can't get my anger out, everything I try doesn't work. I sit and I stew in it until I have to expell it through putting myself through the most exhuasting work out I can handle. My body isn't taking that well, I'm in pain all over, and I feel like hammered shit. Yet I'm still angry, I still harbour those feelings.

My little brother was playing with my nephew and he threw one of his toys, it hit me, and immediately that switch was flipped and I damn near threw him across the room. I had to stop myself before I hurt him, I'm honestly starting to scare myself.
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(no subject) [May. 22nd, 2005|12:14 am]
I haven't spoken to her in three, seemingly long days. Everytime I have tried to call no one has answered. It doesn't help that I have been missing her terribly for the past month.
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