||[Sep. 19th, 2005|06:06 pm]
I love saying that: Shit fucker! Thanks Lars.
So it's been some time, well didn't have much to talk about until now. Let's start with the more pleasent things.
Bolt Assembly is going stronger than ever. Shows are rolling in and the demo is almost done. The farther I get in Bolt Assembly, the more I lose interest in anything else. Nothing compares to it. School is one long brain fart, the only reason I go to work is because the pay. If it wasn't for the cash I would lose interest in work too. We played our first show a two weekends ago, that was a blast. I remember I was so ungodly nervous, I was constantly on the verge of puking. On the car ride downtown my hands were shaking and all I could think of was "Don't fuck up, don't fuck up." But once I stepped up on stage and did the soundcheck, it eased down a bit. About 20 seconds into "Battle Scars" was when I really opened the flood gates. I may not have my hair, but I done headbanged like a mofugga and a half. I'm looking forward to doing it again on Friday.
Working at El Wash Tub-o. The family business, yo. Long, hard, hot days. Can't wait until winter.
School is gay.
Single, doesn't surprise me. I'm aware that I will probably be single for another year or two. But lately I have been wondering whether I made the right choice in breaking it off with Iysha. In one hand, I loved her. Truly loved her. In the other hand, I had my dreams. The two would not be able to co-exist, I knew that much. I was going to have to sacrifice one of them. For a time, it was going to be my dream. But for reasons I seem to have forgotten, it was the other way around. I try not to dwell on the past, but it's been nagging at me. I'm really happy now that I'm pursuing my dream and making it a reality, but a part of me isn't happy with being alone. Even if I did make the wrong decision, it's way too late to take it back now, so all I am left with in this situation is to pick my head up and keep moving.
Still no drivers license, planning on buying a bike and getting my class M after getting my class C. Bikes are easier to maintain, more fuel-efficient, and overall much more fun. I looked at this 3-cylinder Triump Rocket III, and literally jizzed my pantaloons. 12,000 Euros.
Gaining weight back, horribly disappointed in myself for that. I was doing so well and I slipped. Fuck being the chubby kid.